I rarely have excess energy anymore. I feel like go through each day in a fugue; I’m swaddled in blankets that don’t warm me, and the world is muted.
I don’t get good sleep because KJ constantly comes into the bedroom through the night, or the kids are making noise downstairs, or I’m in some sort of pain, or a litany of other reasons.
I have no outlets for stress release other than reading or working out, and they are largely mere postponements or temporary reprieves. The problems never go away or are resolved, they simply lurk and bide their time until they can return to the surface. It’s no wonder I have headaches at least 3 days a week.
I haven’t eaten since Saturday night, but I’m not hungry. I’m not even thirsty, really, though I know I need to hydrate in order to function.
I’m numb, or I’m angry, or I’m deflated. Who knows what the future holds.